Friday, March 27, 2015

Murkurie My Love, My Best Friend

On Saturday morning, March 21st, my sweetest, most loving, most precious girl Murkurie passed away. 

She was my best friend, my love, and my companion. I loved her so much and will miss her so so much. We were together for 20 years. Over half my life I've had her with me. I would bring her to sleep with me at night and sometimes she would even take herself to bed and let me know it was time for bed, staring at me until she caught my eye. I would wake up next to her every morning and if not next to her, then the first thing I would do is get up and pet her while she was laying on her favorite spot in the living room, her heat pad, which I would then turn on for her. I would come home to her everyday after work. She was the first one I would say hello to in the mornings and the last one I would say goodbye to everyday before work and usually the last one I would say goodbye to when I left the house in general. I would pet her, rub her chin and tell her that I loved her and tell her to be a good kitty, and that I know she's the best one. We loved each other so much.

I just wanted to make a few lists in memory of her and to share all the best stories I have of her mainly because I don't ever want to forget them.

These are some of my pet names I would call her:
My baby
My darling
My little babe
My little grey one
My sweet girl
My sweetest girl
Sweetest girl
My beautiful girl
My love
My little love
My biggest little heart
My little Bouchtaka
Da Mer
The best one

I got Merk from a friend who lived a couple of apartments down from me. My friend's cat had kittens in March or April of 1995 and they needed to find homes for all of them. I told my friend I'll take the gray one even before seeing any of the other kittens. I was 13 years old and didn't ask my dad and didn't know if he would let me keep her. I didn't pick her up right away though. Over time my friend kept asking me when am I going to take the kitten, when am I going to take the kitten. One day I was over her house and I was leaving with a stack of books I was borrowing and I picked up this little kitten running around on the floor. She was so small she fit in one hand. And I put her on the stack of my books right before I left and I said, I'm going to take this one too. It was kind of just a joke but then I actually did take her home that day. She was just a little fluff of grey fur with little blue eyes, just so little. I can't remember how my dad found out I had her but somehow it worked out.

When she was just a kitten I used to imagine that I would train her to be a circus cat. I wanted to put a lion's mane on her and train her to jump through a fiery loop. I tried to train her for a little bit practicing with a non-fiery loop but it never worked out how I imagined it.

When she was just a small kitten I used to set up a tea party in my room using just the regular china my dad had and a tea kettle as a tea pot and we would have tea parties together at the window sometimes with classical music playing in the background.

Once my grandmother and uncle were visiting. I was downstairs in the kitchen and was getting ready to go back up. Murkurie followed me down and decided to lay right on my uncle's big belly. My uncle was taking a nap in the middle of the floor. I didn't want to wake my uncle up so I tried to call Merk off of him. I called and called to her and used all kinds of hand motions but could not get her to get off of his stomach. I didn't want to leave her down there without me. Even then, we went everywhere in the house together. 

My friend, the same friend who I got Murkurie from, had more kittens.... her and her mom were big on taking care of strays along with their regular indoor/outdoor cats. One of these kittens was another little gray kitty. This kitty had the biggest most triangular head I've ever seen! I took that cat home and named him Alien. When my dad saw that cat he said "Who's that?!" I said, "That's Murkurie dad. Don't you recognize Murkurie?" The next day he asked again and I told him the same thing. He said, "That's not Murkurie." And I said, "uh-huh it is." Eventually I had to tell him I was just *watching* that cat for my friend who *went out of town*. I was hoping that if we kept the cat long enough we could end up just keeping him. Murkurie loved Alien. Alien was smaller but both were still just little kittens with blue eyes. Murkurie followed Alien around everywhere. I loved seeing those two together. I think I had Alien for several weeks and kept telling my dad my friend was still out of town. Eventually my dad said okay you can keep him but if you keep him you have to pay for all the vet bills yourself. I was only 13 and had no way of getting a job and after previously going with my dad to get Murkurie her shots I knew how expensive it was so knew there was no way I could pay for that myself. I took things at face value too much then. I should have just said okay and kept Alien and figured out a way to get her her shots or keep asking my dad to get him his shots until he caved on it. I still regret not just saying okay. I gave Alien back to my friend and they turned him into an outdoor cat and a few weeks later he never came back home.

The first time Murkurie ran away she really went for it! I was in the kitchen getting ready before school. I was in my pajamas and opened the sliding glass door to get something from outside. As soon as that sliding glass door opened she bolted for it! She ran out so fast and just kept going. She didn't even look back! I was in a panic. What should I do?! I was in my pajamas with my house slippers on. We lived in a townhouse style apartment which didn't have a back fence around the back patio. It was just completely open. I quickly ran after her. She ran something like half a football field in distance and went down into the dry creek bed behind our apartment. I had to climb down there after her calling out Murkurie! Murkurie! All the way down! As soon as she got down into the middle of the dry creek bed she stopped frozen in her tracks. I think she got scared and didn't know where to go. I picked her up and climbed out with her. After that we had to be super careful with the sliding glass door. She always tried to run out.

One day I was hanging out with my friends. We were in my room. Murkurie was there. I had some candles burning on a table. We went downstairs to get something to drink and got distracted down there. We were just down in the kitchen hanging out. All of a sudden the fire alarm upstairs came on. We were all like, what's that?? Then I remembered about the candles! We ran upstairs and there was Merk on the table next to the candle that was tipped over. The tablecloth I had on the table was on fire and Merk was standing right next to it with crazy eyes twitching her tail! I quickly put it out but after that it was hard not to think of Merk as a pyromanic.

When Merk was still a kitten I would make her sleep with me. I would put her on my chest and hold her until we fell asleep. I had a friendship bracelet that she used to suck on when I would hold her.

When Merk was still a kitten I remember she had the bluest eyes. Over time I noticed her eyes getting darker and darker. I was worried her eyes were going to change to brown. At the time there was a Sheba commercial with a grey cat with brown eyes. I wanted Merk's eyes to stay light so badly. They finally stopped changing colors when they reached a yellow, light greenish color.

The first time I left Merk alone was when my friends and I went to a concert. I think it was to see White Zombie in San Jose. We went solely for the opening acts, Melvins and Babes in Toyland. I was so worried to leave her alone and felt so bad leaving her.

Freshman year of high school I took a required class called home skills. One of the assignments was to write a report about our lives. One section of the report was supposed to be about our heroes. I put Murkurie as one of my heroes alongside Anne Rice and one of my friends at the time. I wrote about how Murkurie was wiser than her 6 months. I still have the report.

All though my freshmen year of high school I had scratches all over my arms. This was from Merk. She was so playful.

Merk used to love playing so much! Her favorite was balls on strings. She would go crazy! Jumping higher than I ever saw a cat her size jump for it and would really get herself into it, sometimes slamming against the wall and keep going. I feel bad she would slam against the wall. She loved playing so much.

I remember in the mornings getting ready for school I would be lacing up my Doc Martins. I had 21 eye boots and it was a lot of lacing. Merk would stand right by me trying to play with my laces as I tried to lace them up!

We moved into a house which had a screened in patio. Murkurie used to love that screened in patio. She would go out there and yowl away all day long. I didn't know at the time that she was going through heat!

Sometime before or maybe after that, I can't remember why, I had to bring Murkurie to my aunt's place in San Mateo to have her watch her for a little bit. My aunt had to put her in the bathroom because she was yowling all night long from being in heat. We laugh about it now but my aunt was not happy with it at the time. 

I used to take Murkurie into the backyard but because she used to try to run away so much I was super careful with her. I would put her on the grass but hover over her with my hands just 2-3 inches away from her sides ready to snatch her up if she tried to run for it. We had a fence now but I wasn't sure how good she would be at climbing over it.

Merk used to try and run away all the time. Any time the front door opened she would try to make a run for it. We had to be very careful of the door and couldn't even open it a crack to talk to someone through the door. If we had to get in or out of the house we had to do it quickly! It didn't help that after I turned 15 and got my provisional driver's license, when she heard my old beetle coming down the street she would run to the door and wait for me. Sometimes I got the feeling she was waiting to greet me. But sometimes there was a definite element of trying to make a break for it!

There was so many times when she actually got out and ran for it! Once she just ran around to the front of the house and stopped in her tracks there but one time she went the other way and just kept going blocks and blocks down with me chasing behind her the whole way!

Murkurie was just as bad about the garage door. And boy, if she got out there there was no getting her back in! She would hide under my dad's car and when I went to one side of the car to get her she would run to the other side away from me. I even tried using a broom to scare her out from under there but she would do the same thing with the broom! She got out in the garage all the time too!

You had to be very careful with the garbage can at our house too! Merk absolutely loved jumping in the garbage can and knocking it over to get any chicken scraps that were in there. One day I heard a thud from the kitchen then all was quiet. I decided to investigate. In the middle of the kitchen floor was Merk with a big chicken bone in her mouth, looking at me, twitching her tail when she saw me. She was standing in the middle of all the garage all over the floor, the trash can tipped over just next to her. After I got over the shock of the mess I was seeing and I started coming into the kitchen, she even tried to run for it with the bone and all. She loved going in the trash can for food and scrapes. I used to joke that she would have been so happy as a junk yard cat and I imagined her attempts to run away as being attempts to make it as a bonafide junk yard cat.

When I first started taking French in high school I would go home and practice my French to Merk. I thought about maybe changing her name to Mercredi... the French word for Wednesday... after all it was very close wasn't it?? I also tried to teach her some French. Even though she was usually a very quiet cat sometimes when I was hanging out with her she would meow at me a lot. She'd say "Meow" and I would say, "No no Merk, Marron" which was the french word for brown. I swear she started adding the "on" sound to her meow after a while! We did this for like a year.

I took photography in high school. I used to take lots of pics of Merk. I remember for one set of photos I put my black spiky bracelet on her like a collar. It was too big for her little neck even though I had little wrists. I took pics of her in the black spiky "collar" running across the counters and the cold stove. I was trying to make her punk.

Exposure test strip for photography class

After school I would love to lay on the couch and watch T.V. as Merk laid on my chest. She wouldn't say for long and mostly would just stay a little bit while I held her and pet her, but I remember doing this a lot after school. 

When Merk was little she had the weirdest fur. She wasn't a short haired cat but also wasn't a long haired cat so if you tried to put a collar on her her fur around her face would just stick straight out! I thought maybe it was just because she wasn't used to wearing a collar so I had her wear it for a while to see if her fur would settle into it. After about a week or so I noticed that she was starting to get a bald patch on her neck where the collar was. I took the collar off and vowed that I would never make her wear one again. She went collarless for the rest of her life.

Merk was my first cat I ever had and I thought she was a rather funny looking thing at first. She had weird fur that would make it so she couldn't wear a collar and look like a normal cat. Also, she stood with her two front legs apart. I hardly ever saw her with her two front legs gracefully together like most cats I've seen. Also, her body was small but pretty stout while her legs were so short and skinny. I remember when I was in high school thinking that she looked so weird and not like most usual cats. I don't know when but at some point I started seeing her as the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and in fact, the most beautiful thing in the world.

My grandmother came to stay with us for a little while. She brought her cat Prisa with her. Prisa was a Siamese and got into everything! At first Murkurie really liked Prisa. She would follow her around often. One day I found Merk on top of the refrigerator meowing! I had no idea how she made it up there by herself. It was definitely not usual for Merk to go up there. She must have picked it up from Prisa. But it was clear that she was stuck and didn't know how to get down. I had to go and get her down. She never went back up there again!

Just after I started college my parents moved to a different house up the hill. I used to have a really high window in my bedroom, it started at about a little below the height of my shoulders. Merk used to be able to jump onto it and sit on the ledge though the ledge was really shallow. After a while though she wouldn't be able to sit up there anymore. I think maybe it was because she was starting to get older even though at the time she was still just a young thing. I should have put some kind of bigger ledge up there for her

Merk would get into moods and out of nowhere start running around the house like a bat out of hell. She would go ... meow meow meow while she was doing it too which was unusual for her because she was mostly a very quiet cat. She would leap onto the backrest of the couch in a single bound, keep going, do it again, abruptly stop, twitch her head from side to side looking crazy, then looking with crazy eyes right at you, twitch her tail, then keep running! I loved seeing her do this!

Me and Merk used to play chase. A lot of my friends don't believe it but my husband says he remembers seeing us do this once. Merk would be in the living room and we would look at each other. I would first jump up then start to run at her. She would run away. Then I would abruptly stop then run away. She would then run after me for a bit. Then I would stop, turn around and run after her, then turn around and let her chase me again some more. It was my favorite game in the world to play with my girl.

One of Merk's favorite things to do when she was little was play with the sheets when I was making the bed. I would shake the flat sheet over the bed to get it over all corners and as it was coming down like a parachute over the bed she would jump on it and chase it as it came down. She would get the crazy look in her while she did this, running all over the bed, while making small chirping merow noises. I loved seeing her so happy.

I don't really remember how Merk was with strangers when she was younger. I do remember one day though my friend came over and we were standing and talking right outside of the living room. We saw Merk peek her head out from between the two couches, then slowly slowly she backed up, hiding behind the couches again. It was the funniest thing to see. My friend and I both looked at each other and started busting up laughing.

I would study all the time. Sometimes I would study at home on the bed. I would be writing in my notebook and Murkurie would come up to me and start biting the pen. I wouldn't stop her. It was such a nice break. My writing would get all scribbly when she did this.

Sometimes when I was sitting on the bed watching tv or reading she would come up to me and rub her wet nose all over my glasses and then bite my glasses. My glasses would get so dirty and I wouldn't be able to see. I used to just let her do this and pet her and kiss her as she did this. She would purr and just keep going.

Sometimes when I was sitting on the bed watching tv, reading, or doing homework and Merk was on the bed with me sleeping at the foot of the bed I would pull the blanket closer to me to reach her and I'd say "Come here Merk". Tim thought this was so funny when he saw me do it for the first time.

I liked to hold the Merk and kiss her on her face. Whenever I tried to do this though she would almost always inch her head away from me as I was coming in for a kiss. Sometimes she would even put her paw up on my lips to block it. I would laugh at her for being so bad.

This was only for a few amount of years but I remember Merk used to sometimes let me hold her when we were sleeping. She would stretch out long kitty against me and sometimes I would wake up in the morning still holding her. 

When I absolutely had to work on the computer I would put a pillow down on the floor next to me. I would turn the space heater on and point it right at the pillow and Merk would lay there next to me as I worked on homework for school. I loved having with her me. I didn't like it when she was in a different room.

Merk used to love hiding under the Christmas tree during the Christmas holidays. If you didn't know where Merk was, look under the tree and sure enough she would be under there hiding amongst all the presents.

Merk was such a good cat. She would come running from where ever she was when I called her. I would stand at the foot of the stairs and call, "Muuuuuuurkurie...... Ohhh, Muuuuuuuurkurie!" And sure enough she would come bounding up!

Merk was so good about taking baths. It's probably because I started giving her baths when she was just a little kitten and could fit in the bathroom sink! She never fought me when I bathed her. She didn't like it, and would give me the saddest looking face and she would do little small meows, but she never fought. She would, however, try to jump out if I turned my back for just a second! After the bath I would have a warm dry towel waiting for her and I would rub her dry all over. She really liked it when I rubbed her chest. She would lean so hard into the towel that I would have to hold her up. After the towel drying I would dry her down with a blow dryer. Even after all that she would still be wet because her fur was so thick. I would just let her lay out in the sun and let the sun finish drying her. She would be so soft and clean after baths. 

I used to feed Merk mostly dry food when she was a younger adult but would every now and again get out some wet food for her. She would go crazy as soon as she saw the can or later the pouch come out. She would start rubbing against my leg like crazy and go Meorw Merow Meorw! And as I mentioned before, usually she was a very quiet cat!

When Merk was really really happy her meow would come out more like "Merrrk! Merrk!" She would do this often when she was rubbing her face on my face or when she would bite and rub her nose on my glasses

There is a sliding glass door at my parents house that gets all the afternoon sun. Merk used to love to sit in front of the door and soak up all the sun stretching long kitty. There was a chaise lounge right by there that also caught direct sun. Merk used to love laying on that too.

When Tim and I moved out together we lived just the two of us and Merk in an apartment in Alameda. One day out of nowhere Merk jumped on the couch walked over to me and started rubbing her nose on my face saying Merrrk! Merrk! I knew that Merk was so happy to be living with me and having the whole run of the house. I felt so bad when Tim finally brought his cat to live with us too several weeks after we moved in and got settled. It took Merk so long to get used to not being the only cat in the house anymore. I am glad I was able to give her a month or two of pure bliss being the only cat, having the whole run of the place. I only wish it would have lasted longer for her.

We later moved into a duplex down the street. I remember one day Murkurie was on the counter in the kitchen. I think I must have put her up there because by then she was starting to have problems jumping high. We had a plate of ribs up there and Merk grabbed a whole rib which was almost the same length as her, and jumped off the counter with it. I panicked thinking she was going to hurt herself. But she landed then proceeded to try and run off with this huge rib in her mouth!

And to get back to how I think when Merk was little she would have loved to be a junk yard cat... it seemed that her favorite foods were hot chocolate, nacho cheese Doritos chips, chicken and greasy chicken skins, ice cream, and oh how she loved butter! For any of these things she would climb all over me to try and get it. I could not sit on the couch with these and be at peace. I had to fight her back with a pillow. Also, if you left your hot chocolate out even just for a few seconds you would come back to find Merk with her paws all over it. She would dip her paw in it then lick her paws. Drops of hot chocolate would be all over the table!

Merk loved to eat! When she got older I switched from dry food to a mostly wet food diet because I heard it was good for her kidneys. When I fed her sometimes she'd really get into it and take real big bites. She also really went for it when I gave her chicken for a treat. Whenever I saw her really going for it I would tell her, "Get it Merk! Get it!" 

I made it a habit after work to let the cats out in the backyard when I got home from work everyday. I would sit on a bench out there and just watch Merk and Tim's cat CC explore. This was the first time Merk really got to start going outside. She was getting older and I wasn't afraid anymore of her trying to run away because I knew she probably couldn't jump the high fence and CC never really tried to run away the way Merk always used to. Merk used to love to find the dirtiest corners and crevices to lay in. I would try to persuade her to find a cleaner spot but for some reason she really liked the dirty little places and spots.

I remember the time Tim took Merk for a ride on the bike! I had a bike with a basket in the front and Tim, after putting blankets down in it, put Merk in the basket and rode her around outside in front of our duplex in Alameda. I remember telling him, don't do that, don't do that. But it was such a cute thing to see, Merk sitting up in the basket while Tim rode her around. I remember just at that moment there was a car that drove down the street and I could hear people in the car saying, Look it's a cat! That's so cute! I was so worried about Merk that I was glued to my spot. By the time I snapped out of it and thought to take a picture Merk was already squirming to come down. I'm sorry I missed taking a picture of that but that picture will be forever in my memory.

When Merk was younger she seemed to have a really stocky build. She would always be standing with her front legs apart and never together. But as she started to get older she became more like a dainty little princess. Sitting up she would almost always cross her front paws over together like a little lady. She was ready for tea time always.

I talk about how I used to think Merk was funny looking when she was younger. For most her of life though I thought Merk was the most beautiful girl in the world, and the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world. I used to ask her all the time... I would say, "Merk you're so beautiful. Has anyone ever told you you should have been a model???" Sometimes I would tell her that I should have taken her to Hollywood to be a movie star!

When we moved into our house in Hayward I would let the cats out in the backyard and watch them explore. CC would always be interested in checking out the plants. Merk would walk about a bit but would always eventually find the dirtiest little corner or section to lay in. I remember being so flabbergasted when I found her in the dilapidated shed in the back in a dusty, dirty, cobwebby, greasy corner laying down spread out and so comfortable. I don't know why she always preferred these dirty spots when she was outside.

Poor da Merk. One day I was out working in the garden in the front yard. I let the cats out for a bit because they loved to be out in the sun exploring. I would look up every few seconds to keep an eye on them. Tim came home and was outside with me for a bit. I thought he was watching the cats so I stopped looking out for them. A few minutes later I realized no one was watching the cats and Merk was gone. I became frantic. We looked everywhere for her. I walked all over the front yard and looked behind all the planters and underneath all the cars. I looked down the streets under cars parked at the curb. I looked at neighbor's yards. It seemed like I had looked everywhere. I called her name and called her name. Then I saw a neighbor, a teenage boy, and asked him if he's seen a little grey cat anywhere. He pointed down the street and said, there's a cat right there. It's kind of black. Real raggedy looking. I thought raggedy, that could be the Merk! It turned out it was a black feral cat in the neighborhood. We eventually found her somewhere and soon after, but Tim and I always laugh about how I thought the raggedy cat could be Merk. Merk after all had that fur that wasn't quiet short hair and wasn't quiet long hair and so sometimes would just stand up at crazy angles sometimes.

There was another time not long after that we we lost the Merk in the neighborhood again! Tim and I went out to shake a big living room rug outside and left the front door open while we were doing it. We were real quick but even though Merk at this time was a little old lady and was slow moving she somehow got out and took herself for a walk. It was the worst time to lose her too. The sun had just done down, it was dark outside, and our street doesn't have too many streetlights. Once again we canvased the neighborhood looking under cars, behind planters, in neighbor's yards. I didn't think she could have gotten far. After all she was so slow. But we found her way down the street! She was sitting in the front yard of a neighbor's house next to some bushes. She was sitting stock still. Her eyes were real big and staring straight at me. I think she must have got lost! I picked her up and held her and said, why not come when I call you baby???!!! Oh the Merk!

Sometimes Merk would be sleeping on her side, relaxing real good. Then she would lift her head up suddenly and look around, the fur on the side of her face that she had been laying on would be standing straight up in all kinds of crazy positions. She would get some serious bed head.

When Merk was real young she often had the craziest look in her eyes but when she got older she often had really big pupils that often made her look a little sad. That on top of being all grey I would always say to her... "Why so blue Merk?" It was my little joke to her because the grey kitties are often referred to as being blue but also because she just naturally had a face that often looked a little sad.

I loved celebrating Murkurie's birthday. I would get her a cake and make sure her name was on it. I think she liked it too. I would left her lick some of the icing from the cake and would also give her some cat sip as a special treat. It was always so nice to see Merk enjoying her birthday. I'd have to be careful though! Sometimes she would get too close to the candles, pyromanic that she was! ;)

Murkurie's 1st birthday, April 1996

Murkurie at 1 years old, 1996

Murkurie's 17th birthday, April 2012

Murkurie's 19th birthday, April 2014

Merk loved food so much! Every morning on the weekdays I would wake up about 5:50-6am to get ready for work. First thing I always did was feed da Merk her wet food. Only she got used to this early am feeding and on the weekend when I would try to sleep in Merk would stand and walk all over me to get me up to feed her. As old as she was, this 19 year old little lady would balance herself on me as she walked all over me. Sometimes she would go right up to my face and as loud as she could go, "Merrroow! MEERROOOWWW!!!" And as I mentioned before she wasn't really a meower. But when she did this, the first thing you would see in the morning was her face right up to your face with her Meowing so loud in your face. Sometimes though she would let her whiskers and nose do the trick. Her whiskers would tickle my face, her cold wet nose would wet my nose. I would pull up the blanket to try and get some few extra minutes of sleep but then she would proceed to walk all over my face looking for the end of the blanket where my face should be. She was the most persistent thing I've ever seen. She always got her way.

For a while Merk got into the habit of waking me up in the middle of the night this way for snacks. I didn't have the heart to ignore her when she woke me up. She was just a little old thing and I wanted to let her eat as much as she wanted whenever she wanted it so I would wake up and feed her. There were many nights of disrupted sleep loving the Merk.

Merk was always the most loving in the morning. I don't know why but even when she was a little girl she would let you pet her and love her the most first thing in the morning. Sometimes after she woke me up for breakfast I would rub her ears as she stood on my chest. The rougher I rubbed the more she would purr and drool. She would drool all over me sometimes. I loved it when she would get this happy.

Merk had a way of telling you what she wanted. She would have the biggest and most expressive eyes and would just stare you down until you noticed. Many times Merk would go stand on the rug at the corner of the dining room table and would just follow you around her head as she stared you down with her eyes! I always knew that meant she wanted some wet food!

When Merk was younger we didn't take her to the vet a whole lot. As she got older I became better about taking her for her checkups every 6 months... but before that, when she first started going regularly again, I remember there was a time Tim and I were at the vet with her and Dr. Gill picked her up to take her in the back to get a blood sample. He picked her up and started walking away with her. As soon as he turned around with her and she saw that it wasn't me holding her she gave me the biggest eye look as if saying, "Momma! Momma, you not coming??!!!!" It made me laugh even though I also felt so bad for her.

Sometimes she would take herself to bed then stand at the corner of the bed looking out the bedroom door doing her big eye staring trick, following you around with her head until she got your attention. I always knew when she was telling me it was time for bed!

If I were first to bed I would tell Merk that I was going to collect her. I'd go around the house getting ready for bed and say, "Merk, you ready for bed? I'm going to collect you." Then when everything was ready and her heat pad on the bed was warm for her I would go collect her and we'd go to bed. She'd settle in right on her heat pad and we'd tuck ourselves in for the night.

In the morning when I woke up if she wasn't still in bed and if she wasn't the one waking me up I would call her. "Merrrrrk! Merrrrrk!" Sometimes it would take her a while but eventually she would come into the room and jump on the bed. Because of this we knew that she still had her hearing even though whenever I vacuumed and even used the hose attachment around her she never got spooked.

Merk always knew when we brought home chicken. All you would have to do is walk through the door with some rotisserie chicken and Merk would jump down from whatever seat or favorite spot she was in and go in the kitchen to beg for chicken. When we were eating chicken for dinner she would stand on the rug at the corner of the dining room table giving you her big staring eyes until you gave her some chicken... and some chicken was never enough. I got the feeling sometimes that she had more chicken for dinner than I did! She loved it so much! She would be so content, licking her chomps, after several good helpings of chicken for dinner!

Sometimes I would be in the computer room playing on the computer and Merk would mosey in to do her business in the litter box. I always said, "Merk!" whenever I saw her. She would walk so slowly and sometimes take a little break when she came into the room before going into the box. She did a lot of moseying after she got older. 

Every morning the first thing I would do would be to pet and feed the Merk. She usually insisted on it. On the weekdays I would sit with her a while while she had breakfast in bed but because she was such a slow eater I would eventually leave her to it and go in the kitchen to make sandwiches for lunches. While I was at the kitchen counter making sandwiches I would see Merk come out of the bedroom and slowly make her way to the water bowl in the living room (which Tim and I called the island water because it was just alone on its own in the middle of the living for Merk's easy access). Whenever I saw her, it would warm my heart and I would call out "da Merk!" She would walk so slow, moseying along. Sometimes she would have to stop in the middle of the floor before making it to the water if one of the other cats went up to her. She would stop dead in her tracks and wait for them to pass. Sometimes they would go around, but sometimes Wolfgang, the bad one, would jump over her. I would reprimand them for bothering the Merk, especially over the jumping over her part. After the other cats passed she would continue on her way to the water bowl. After drinking she would proceed to her favorite spot on the heat pad by the couches, taking her time to jump up there. She would lay and relax on the heat pad, getting warmed before I left the house for work. 

My favorite part of the day was coming home from work and coming home to da Merk. She would usually be at her window seat and sometimes would even be looking out watching for me. It would be such a fan fair coming home! Outside the house, looking in through the front window I would see her and start calling her name. From outside I could see her little mouth mewing but I wouldn't be able to hear anything. I could never be sure if she was meowing out loud or meowing silently. As soon as I came in through the door I would call her name, Murkurie!!! Da Merr!!, and she would come up to the couch and let me pet her and love her and she would pur sometimes, and meow, and give me wet nose. We would be like that for 15 minutes. Then I would feed her her favorite wet food until she was full and licking her chomps.

I loved singing to Merk. I often made up my own songs or my own version of songs when I sang to her. Here are four of my favorite songs in lyrics that I loved to sing to her the most:

"Isn't she lovely? Isn't she beautiful??? I think Merk's lovely... I think Merk's beautiful!!! (repeat)"

"Baby girl, my baby girl, I need you oh how I need your love. And I just love the Merk, yes I just love the Merk. I love her yeah, I love her yeah! (repeat)"

"I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the Merk of May. I guess, you say, what can make me feel this way... My Merk! Talkin' bout My Merk... My Merk! Meow Meow Meow! (repeat)"

"Getting to know Merk... getting to know all about the Mer... getting to love da Merk. Getting to love the good Merk... (repeat)"

(Terminator theme song) "Mer mer mer mer-mer. Mer mer mer mer-mer. Merrr Merrr Merrrrrrrrrrr.... Mer Mer Mer..... Merrr Merrr Merrrrrrrrr.... Merrrr Merrrr Merrrrr!!! (repeat)"

"Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there's no one else above you? You fill my heart with gladness, you take away all my sadness, you ease my trouble that's what you do. There's a love that's divine. And it's yours and it's mine... Like the sun. And at the end of the day, we should give thanks and praise to the one... oh to the one.... (repeat)"

I love my Merk so much and I will miss her forever. I hope somehow one day, one way or another I will see her again.

Murkurie, my love, my best friend, my soul mate
April 1995 - March 2005


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful relationship u had. As u know I recently lost my dog Norbert it's crushing my thoughts r with u

    1. Thank you Katherine. It means a lot of me. I know how hard a time you had when your dear Norbert left. Even though they are gone our love for them continues.

  2. What a really touching and lovely store...I'm so sorry for your loss! :( It's not a nice thing to go through losing a family pet, as they do become part of the family. My thoughts are with you! xo

    1. Thank you Camilla. She really was a huge part of the family as well as a huge part of me. Her and I got to grow up together. She was my friend, my love my baby, and the sunshine in my life. I'm sorry that she got older so much quicker than I did. I miss her so much.

  3. I'm so sorry for your loss, it sounds like she was the most wonderful companion and was such a massive part of your life. Sending loving, healing thoughts your way xx

    1. Thank you Porcelina. I've been missing her everyday but I'm just beginning to realize how now a part of me is missing too. She was the most wonderful friend. I was so lucky to have her in my life.

  4. You have so many stories and lovely memories of your girl. Thank you for sharing them. I hope you will see her again, too.

    1. Thank you Christine. I keep thinking of her at the "rainbow bridge" and hoping that when it's my turn to go she will be waiting for me. I love her and miss her so much.